When, “Where was I?” became a very difficult-to-answer question

I never anticipated that the fun task of showing little madam (who’s now three-and-three-quarters) through some of my old photograph albums, could end up in a tearful and extremely difficult Q&A session.  I mean who would have thought that, as a mother, such a fun experience could have ended so....um...well - thanks to my complete and utter inability to know how to respond to little madam’s rather difficult question -awkwardly. 

The experience began rather well.  After all, it was terrific to see little madam’s rather astonished face when I pointed out photos of people she knows - including her Oma and Opa (that’s Grandma and Grandpa to those who aren’t familiar with the German language) - in some rather old photos.  And it was amazing to watch her excitedly point out people she recognised as we turned the pages of each album, despite the fact that many of the faces have changed over time.     

But the fun didn’t last, I’m afraid.  As we made it through the albums, and eventually stumbled upon our old – well, not that old really – wedding album (an album in which she once again recognised the faces of friends and family) this difficult-to-answer-question came about: “Where was I?”  Well, of course, at first it didn’t seem like that difficult-a-question to answer.  But unfortunately my simple, yet rather blunt, reply of, “You weren’t around then”, wasn’t the right (or perhaps “best” is a better word) answer.  As although immediately, after a short moment of confusion, little madam stopped frowning and looked as though she understood, when she came back at me with, “Oh! Was I at Oma and Opa’s?” I realised that little madam "understood" as well as little man understands the word "No!"     

"Mummy...where was I?"

Now, given that a couple of pages earlier she’d actually seen Oma and Opa in a photo at the wedding, I decided I’d better not beat around the bush (in case it caused more confusion) and answered – a little less confidently, this time - with, “No.  Oma and Opa were at our wedding.  You hadn’t been born yet.”  Well.  Talk about a bad reaction.  I mean it was obvious a second later, when tears filled little madam’s eyes, and she shouted out a rather distressed, “But...but...I need a mum!” that the whole matter of a world without her (and life before her arrival) is way beyond the scope of a three-and-three-quarter year old's understanding.    

"How dare a world exist without ME in it!"

Thankfully, though - after I laughed (unintentionally) at little madam’s distress, along with the apparent difficulty she faced with having to comprehend a world without her in it (it’s ironic, after all, as even I have a huge amount of difficulty remembering what life was like without her around – she and little man are my world, after all) – little madam was distracted away from the photo albums and she forgot her little conundrum.  And I, at the same time, was able to avoid any more difficult-to-answer questions for the time being. 

To mummy's relief, little madam busies herself with another task...PHEW!

   

Could I have done a better job answering little madam’s question?  Was I wrong to feel extremely relieved when little madam was distracted away from the photos and forgot her worries altogether.  Absolutely!  I’m sure of it!  But if you ask me how I could have done a better job at dealing with the situation, I honestly wouldn’t be able to tell you (which I guess this means this would be an equally as difficult-to-answer question).  For now though, until someone can tell me how to better respond to such a difficult-to-answer-question, I think I’ll keep the photo albums out of sight.

Thanks, little madam, for giving me another amazing thing to ponder.  Love you! 

Parenting lesson number 1567...

Here's a brief lesson for all you parents:  Never give your nineteen month old son the car keys (then close the door) to distract him while you attempt to load the shopping, pram and a hundred other things, into the boot.  Would you like to know the reason this lesson became obvious to me only yesterday?  Because yesterday, I did this exact thing (ie. gave my nineteen-month old little man the car keys to distract him, then closed the door, while I attempted to tend to the job of loading a pile of stuff into the boot of the car) and the clever little sod managed - only a second after the thud of the car door closing echoed into my ears - to push the lock button on the car key.  I know what you're thinking?  How stupid is this woman?  But honestly - and I dread to think of the consequences of such an action in the middle of a sweltering summer day - I've done this heaps of times before.  Given little man the keys, that is.  And, I'm pleased to report, he's never managed to press the lock button.  Until now that is.  Well.  You can imagine the state I was suddenly in.  All of a sudden, my nineteen-month old son has locked me out of the car...and locked himself and his sister in.  The latter, being my three-and-a-half year old little madam, is the reason I can now laugh at this scenario and put it behind me.  Because, it didn't seem to matter how clear my instructions were (given the pressure I was suddenly under), little man was not going to be able to (no matter how clever or nimble his fingers are) find the much smaller button on the key that would have unlocked the door. 

Eventually though, after shouting "Press the unlock button!" a number of times (and realising this was getting me no closer to solving my conundrum) I went around to the other side of the car and shouted a different instruction to a rather shocked and confused looking little madam.  And, thankfully (despite the fact that she's never in her life had to unlock a car), after only a few attempts, she managed to push the unlock button and I was able to promptly open the door.  And, naturally, reach over little madam and yank the set of keys clutched firmly in the very nimble fingers of little man, so they were once again in my possession.  Phew! 

Thanks, little man, for teaching me this very valuable parenting lesson.  I can't believe, in hindsight, how easily the mistake was made!  Love you!